What to Do After a Slip or Relapse

Dean P

First, it's important to clarify the difference between a slip and a relapse. A slip is defined as a one-time event, while a relapse refers to a repeated occurrence over multiple days.

In the realm of addiction recovery, you'll encounter various opinions on how to respond after experiencing a slip or relapse. For the sake of this discussion, we'll use the term "relapse," even though we've established a distinction between the two within our program.

The first thing you need to do after a slip is to avoid falling into self-condemnation. While conviction is appropriate and necessary on the path to recovery, self-condemnation is not. Many of us struggle with this, but it is counterproductive.

Recently, I spoke with a counselor who discussed the concept of self-forgiveness. It's important to note that self-forgiveness is not a biblical principle; we do not have the ability to forgive ourselves. True forgiveness comes from Jesus, who has already sacrificed Himself for our sins. We don't need Him to die again for our forgiveness; it is already available to us.

Thus, the very first step you must take is to repent. Tell God you’re sorry, acknowledge that He has already forgiven you, and recognize that self-forgiveness is not possible.

The Bible instructs us to "confess your sins to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed." Therefore, I believe the first step after a relapse is confession. In my experience, the longer I wait to confess, the longer I remain trapped in a cycle of guilt and shame. Exposing any failure diminishes its power over us.

As an accountability partner to many men, I always encourage them to assess their physical and emotional state. Reflecting on your relapse is essential. If you're unwilling to examine the mistakes that led to it and how to address them, you risk falling into the same patterns repeatedly.

Many people fall into cognitive distortions, such as all-or-nothing thinking or catastrophizing, which can lead to a relapse. Recognizing these patterns can help in reframing thoughts and adopting a more balanced perspective.

Ask yourself: Were you angry? Tired? Stressed? Lonely? Understanding your common internal triggers—often referred to as HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired)—and learning how to navigate them when they arise is crucial, as they will reappear. By identifying these triggers, individuals can develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Instead of viewing a slip or relapse as a failure, which is exactly why I don’t use the term “failure” failure is not getting back up, and not trying, instead consider it an opportunity for growth. Analyze what led to the setback and how to adjust strategies moving forward. We focus on progress over perfection.

The next important step is to reconnect with your support group, whether it's a formal support group or another form of connection. Connection is the enemy of addiction; when we begin to isolate ourselves, we risk a full-blown relapse. Re-establishing those connections is vital for your recovery journey.

Recovering from addiction is a complex journey that often involves navigating slips and relapses. By understanding the emotional and psychological factors at play, implementing practical strategies, and leaning on support systems, individuals can make significant strides in their recovery. Ultimately, building resilience, practicing self-compassion, and fostering connections can help create a sustainable path toward healing and wellness.