The Mountain of Right and The Valley of Wrong.

Have you ever been in an argument? Have you ever been in an argument you felt there was no way you could be wrong? Or maybe you have found yourself on the losing side and have nothing else to do but mope about it? Well, I have something to say about this, from my own personal struggles with pride and arrogance.

I’ve heard it said about those who believe they could not be wrong, that they live on a “Mountain of Right”. I have also heard it said about those who feel they are always defeated to be in a “Valley of Wrongs”. Both places exist because of our human struggle with pride.

When we reside on the mountain, everything and everyone, seems a whole lot smaller and insignificant to us. It is easy to say this is not true, but when was the last time someone stood on the tip of the mountain with you? I bet on that rare occasion you examined, scrutinized, and criticized, why they agreed with you, and asked yourself if their motives were also your motives? It is possible you even examined every little thing about them so that even if they did agree, you could find something to disagree on. The find that “Right” place on your mountain once again.

Now in terms of the valley. The valley is a sneaky little thing, but just as bold and vicious as the mountain. We take on an attitude of “Woe is me”. Self-pity creeps and clings and becomes our very being. It vies for the attention of those around us who are involved and possibly uninvolved in the situation. It launches missiles from the belly of the valley at the person we feel put us here, in hopes they might feel bad for us, even if they are the justified one. The person on the right side of the equation.

These two places clash in their perspectives, but are both molded by pride. Coming to grips with the reality of this is no easy feat. An outsider looking in on us can see these faults and issues plain as day. But for us, or the person who is living in these places, most of the time, they don’t even realize what is happening and who they are hurting. When they do finally grab onto the outside view, however, it can be catastrophic or a major blessing.

I didn’t realize I struggled in this way until I was married, and the love of my life began to tell me I was selfish, condescending, and prideful. You can probably imagine the reactions and attitudes I had to these remarks. At the time of writing this, I am just a year shy of our first anniversary, and you might be thinking, " This sounds rough already!" But not to worry, it took someone willing to stand up to me AND love me, to teach me the errors of my ways.

Now, with the issue of pride, it is not a one-and-done fix. Pride is a lion that stalks around inside of us, seeking to find a rock upon which it might stand tall, and goodness it might devour. Ultimately, it takes God to subdue that lion. The hardest part being we must let him. Pride is a lack of faith in our creator and a false trust we place in ourselves. Everything good we can be, will be, and have been, has only ever been so because God said so.

So often, the reason our addiction keeps us down is that we have let the lion stand tall. When God says to us, “Get help!” and we keep trying our own ways, we are being prideful. It is hard enough to realize we are fighting this battle; it’s even harder to do something about it after, because we don’t think we are completely wrong. But in that same setting, our spirit is telling God, “I don’t really trust you for this”.

Without exhausting everything that pride is and isn’t, I summarize with this.

The 12-step process we face in recovery is also one that can rightfully challenge our pride. Help is not harm, it is healing. Praise be to God.

Next time you are faced with these feelings or emotions, search for a friend, for scripture, and a Godly understanding of your situation. I may be aware I have this struggle myself, but it is still a struggle; I am still learning how I can let God grow in my life, and my pride shrink even more. You’ve got this my friends, keep fighting the good fight.

Gaven F.

A grateful believer in Jesus Christ.