Be Angry, But Do Not Sin.

As a kid, my family dealt specifically with one emotion more than the others, Anger. In my family all the men on my father’s side have a temper. We all handle it in our own way, some better than others. I thought that I handled it the best, but in truth, I just bottled it up. I never spoke when those feelings arose because I knew the consequences could be greater than my satisfaction. There was a chance I may say something I would regret afterwards. This was all good and well to be sure, but the flaw was greater than the solution.

My anger would compound itself until it couldn’t anymore. I was a full balloon waiting for the right poke to explode.

This began to manifest itself in my later teenage years and young adulthood. I stopped wanting to hold it all in and began speaking my mind more freely. It wasn’t wrong for me to speak, but it was wrong for me to sin. The words and actions that would result from my anger were never constructive criticism. They were used to tear down others or the situation. I would try and tear everything down around me so that I could have my own little throne to sit on. In reality, I was tearing down myself. Without channeling the anger the right way, I was destroying my character, my confidence, and worst of all, I was damaging my relationship with Christ.

At some point I realized I needed a change and a big one at that. With a little self-examination I realized why I couldn’t let go of my anger. It was due to the lack of forgiveness to myself. If I couldn’t be happy in life I didn’t want anyone else to be. Peace was not an option. When I came to recovery for my sexual sins, my other sins started to respond. Something about accountability made it lose some power. Something about sharing my story began to soften my thoughts towards myself. Sure, I made some bade decisions, but all I could start to see was the brokenness of the man I thought I was. By attending meetings, I started to see the man I could become, the men that reflected this.

As the Lord has said,

“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:” Ephesians 4:26

               When I made myself venerable the wrath inside me could no longer hide itself. It had to be subject to Jesus and to other men. It put me in a position that gave me no choice but to think about my actions. To think about what I would do or say in a moment of anger. As you go about your life, the next time you are angry, think about why you truly feel this way.

Work on the inside, before it must be on the outside.

Gaven F.

A grateful believer in Jesus Christ.