As a child of about 5 or 6 years, I remember, quite vividly, watching the New York Mets and the Boston Red Sox playing against each other in the World Series. My uncles were rooting for The Sox, while my grandmother and I rooted for the Mets. It was the 10th inning when we all screamed as the walk off run sealed the win for my team.... and it was then that we heard a crash from somewhere in the depths of the house.
We went to investigate and the ceiling had caved in in the downstairs bedroom. You see, leaks over time softened the ceiling, making the ceiling sag, and eventually, that fateful Fall night, it simply collapsed.
My grandmother was a single mom working to support 4 kids and a grandson. She had no money to repair her home. Sadly, a few short years later, the home had to be tore down; it was simply beyond repair.
So goes our addiction. Our “problem.” I, like many others, fell into the false belief that my problem with porn or sexual compulsion would simply get better after time, waiting, or even inaction.
In the twelve steps, we believe that to counter false beliefs, we need a solid truth to counter act them, better known as a scriptural truth.
Here is a scriptural truth against the above false belief it is found in
Ecclesiastes 10:18: "Laziness leads to a sagging roof; idleness leads to a leaky house.”
I cannot wait until things are so far gone that my "house" is crumbling around me. A responsible homeowner will have a sinking fund to repair major things like a roof, or a driveway. With a sinking fund, you slowly put money away to pay for what needs paid for, day over day, week over week, month over month.
For most of my addiction I failed to address what needed addressed..
When I was 12 I said “When I get the Holy Ghost, then my problem will be fixed.” That day came and went and so proceeded my problem.
I would give into my addiction on a Friday or Saturday night, and then I’d say “When I get to the altar then my problem will get better.” I’d hit the altar come Sunday, and soon after I gave in again.
As I got older I said “When I get married, that will fix this!” Marriage came, and my problem remained.
When I had kids, then that will fix this cause “I don’t want to be a dad who is a porn addict.” My kids came and the problem still remained!
You see, all along, I thought this problem would just fix itself, that maybe a milestone, or maybe a simple prayer would change me. It turns out it took work, and a lot more prayer. I had to consistently pour into my spirit, and learn tools to combat the enemy, and WORK AT IT! This works if you work it.
My name is Dean, Grateful believer in Jesus Christ striving for moral and sexual purity.
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